Being Her Toy - by LolliPet

The spanking in the beginning felt really good. I was naked and felt vulnerable and hers. She slowly increased until I indicated that I was at an 8. Then her hand went over my nose and mouth and she spanked me extra hard. I was unable to say it was too hard and it felt soooo liberating. I was in her grip.

The part with the flogger and the clamps around my balls and penis didn't really do much for me. It did hurt, but didn't give a kick like, for example, when spanking. It feels a little too indirect. When she strangles, spanks, slaps me in the face or spits in my mouth it feels like a kind of dance of dynamics between our bodies and minds. But I really have to get used to all the objects in the bdsm game. I am used to the ropes and the blindfold by now and I enjoy that.

What gave me a huge kick was the part where I had her strapon shoved in my mouth. Awesome! When I was on my knees in front of her I already liked it a lot, but the oral penetration just gave me a tingling feeling. I felt like I was her slut and as I type this, the feeling is coming back all the way. I honestly didn't expect it to make me so happy to be Mistress Mercury's slut, but it did :) It was a bit hard at times, but it was nice to work hard for her. I was afraid I would have to throw up and I didn't want to because then I might not be able to continue. And I wanted to continue for a very long time. Only once did I taste a bit of stomach acid, so in the end it wasn't that bad. It was so special when she grabbed my hair and pushed herself down my throat. The things she said made me feel she was inside my mind. This part of the game has enriched my experience of being dominated. The desire to be someone's slut has been added.

On the flogger section, I found it very difficult to say I didn't like it. It felt to me like I was insulting, rejecting and not appreciating her and that made me sad. This was a very intense feeling

There was a part of anal play where I got really scared. She was slowly penetrating me with a toy. She pushed it in very slowly and I felt a tension like a rubber band stretching further and further. The tension and discomfort grew and then it snapped. My squeeze muscle was contracting out of my control and it hurt a lot. I felt scared and alone and also guilty for not being able to connect with her.

Then there was the choking play. Somewhere in the beginning of the session she was standing behind me and choked me with her arms. I enjoy the feeling of being choked. I can feel really submissive when I am physically overpowered. Even when I was laying on my back and she was sitting on top of me with her hands on my wrist looking at me. That feels soooo intense. The pure physical power dynamic. And then here was the position where she was choking me with her ankles while sitting on my private parts (full weight) and looking straight in my eyes. The combination of overpowering sensuality drove me crazy. Actually, when she put on the red shorts and changed her hair for the wrestling she was the woman in my main sexual fantasy. (Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, Mistress.) Strong, mature, beautiful, wise, driven and like a predator. When she started putting me in wrestling holds I felt like her prey, but sensually. Especially when she started moving her hips in a rhythm while having me in a choking hold between her legs. I really wanted her to start rubbing her private parts on my face and I was actually surprised when she did exactly that! I was feeling more and more like her toy for pleasure and that was precisely what I wanted to be for her.

I also enjoyed the shaving part. It made me feel like I was serving my Mistress. But I had the feeling she was still in an uncomfortable position. But never mind, she made it work.

Really enjoyed talking afterwards although I was almost too tired to talk. I really like it that you are also a very open person who likes to think in ideas and it was interesting exchanging some of them.

I learned a lot about my pleasures in this session. But also a lot about my fears. I learned that losing connection with the people around me is my main fear. And I can see a very clear connection with my history and that fear. Also I see a clear connection between that fear and my choice of career.

With warm regards,

LolliPet