My Favorite Kinks- Part 2
My clients and admirers often ask me what type of fetishes I like the most. As much as a list of fetishes can be of help, I’ve always wanted to go into more details to explain what I really get from each of my kinks and what I feel my subs enjoy from it. Last month, I shared the first half of my favorite kinks… But I love so many things, that I couldn’t fit them all in one blog. So, without much further ado, these are a few MORE of my favorite kinks!
10) Golden Showers:
Water sports, piss play, toilet training are all forms of what I could easily have qualified as one of my top three favorite kinks. There’s something visceral about urinating on someone; a nearly beastlike feeling that I get. For me, golden showers (GS for short) are fun for two main reasons. First there is the sheer delight in the physical sensation of urination. Releasing all that built up pressure, feeling all of it flow out tickling my nether lips in the process. It even seems sometimes that the warm flow presses on my G spot, especially if I squeeze particularly hard. For me, the simple act of peeing is extremely erotic. How naughty to get turned on about such a private and taboo activity. And that takes me to the second reason I love giving GS: the mind fuck.
Aside from the physical pleasure I get from releasing my golden nectar, the fact that I have an eager human toilet to collect all of it takes it to another level. The contrast between the warm and arousing sensations with the usual societal symbolism around the act gives you a mind spin. There’s humiliation for the receiver and the need to prove oneself as a devoted pet. As a cruel sadist, I love to see you twisting around your own convoluted mental twists. “It’s so hot, but it’s so naughty. But it’s my Goddess, and I’ll do anything for her.” Yes, you will. And Mistress Mercury will give you her golden blessing; a baptism into some of the deepest levels of surrenders you may ever feel.
11) Humiliation (private or public):
Twisting your head into a knot is even so fun… Humiliation play is quite interesting as it varies from person to person. What is embarrassing for you may be a walk in the park for me. So primarily, I aim to learn about my submissives’ perspectives of societal norms, their prides and their shames. And then I can experiment with insults and taunts that will actually elicit emotional reactions. Each one is at their own stage of development. So I can only go as deep as I feel a sub is ready to go. Humiliation can be fun and playful, but it can also easily cross boundaries. So be prepared to learn some lessons in the process. And all this is just for the private humiliation…. Doing it in public adds yet another level of challenge. And I love a challenge!
12) Nipple Torture:
I like to tease and torture many parts of a sub’s body, but there’s something about the nipples that keep my attention coming back throughout the session. It is such a sensitive spot so they're perfect for pinching and teasing. Any pain based play gets intensified when applied to the nipples: clamps, flogging, candle wax, scratching, violet wands... Hmmm... I can’t help grinning just thinking about it! So strategically located between the face and the groin, such excellent anchor points for any form of predicament bondage. Ah! The Possibilities!
13) Role Play:
Fetish & domination sessions are an opportunity for you to enact your fantasies. BDSM can be like a theatre; in our pre-session contact we can co-write the script for the scene. Then during the session, you're the main actor while Mistress plays the lead actress and director. We can play classic fantasies such as head mistress and student in trouble, boss lady and maid/servant, or goddess and worshipper. The options for role plays are only limited by your imagination! I love the variety of engaging in different roles so don't be shy about sharing your ideas!
14) Sensation play: Deprivation & Exploration
Blindfolds or a basic long scarf will temporarily remove your sight, which immediately enhances the other senses. Hearing the click-clack of my high heels on the wooden floor hints my approach. But what will I do next? Masking extra senses adds another layer of surrendering to my control. A gag will remove your ability to speak, turning you into some form of animal that can only moan and groan. Combined with bondage, this simple game can be quite effective at taking you away from the real world and into the palm of my hand.
Sensory removal enhances physical sensations in one direction, but one can also go the other way and add intense sensations, or mix them up. So while one may be gagged and blindfolded, Mistress might ramp up the skin sensation with a pinwheel or other sharp objects, tickling and scratching. Or bondage may be combined with headphones playing music specially selected to make you aroused, humiliated or frustrated. This is especially fun for subs that pride themselves in their music taste; so many irritating yet catchy pop songs to fill your head with while I probe your body. Mistress loves to overwhelm her subs, and sensation play gives me so many options!
15) Smoking & Ashtray play:
Mistress used to smoke more regularly during her rebellious years backpacking through Europe. Now I only smoke once in a while, at parties or depending on the company. But she make an exception for certain sessions, especially when it fits in with the role-play. There’s something extremely seductive about an evil villainess who will force smoke into her victim’s mouth. Also, if there is no ashtray close by, a slave should be ready to hold the cigarette ashes on his hand, or mouth for the more experienced ones. Again, a cigarette or cigar can simply become an extra implement with which Mistress can tease and torture you. And for the record, as many of you have asked me… No, I don’t burn cigarettes on your skin. That would leave permanent marks which are against my discretion policy (see below).
One of biggest enjoyment I get from dominating my subs is the reaction I get from what I inflict upon them. A sub that moans, groans, twists in their bondage and shivers from my touch is more satisfying for me than a sub that holds still in silence no matter what I am doing to them. If I wanted a statue, I would have one made. But men are often not used to being on the receiving end of sexual activities, so it might take some time to train them to communicate the pleasure or pain they experience at my hand. Tickling is a great way to do that. Of course, not everyone is ticklish, but most people have sensitive spots that make them react strongly. And tickling is somewhere between sensual and hilarious, so it doubles as a good humiliating technique. A sub may have a strong pain tolerance and will power to not react from the strikes of my whips, but few people can withstand being tied and tickled. Pushing boundaries with tickling can be such sweet torture… What’s not to love?
Safety & Consent: All activities are performed under strict safety guidelines, always with the use of safewords and other methods to maintain a consensual scene. Any references to “forced” or apparently non-consensual behavior are all within the pre-negotiated role play for the scene.
Discretion Policy & Permanent Marks: Mistress is a professional, and as much as we may enjoy the game of cat & mouse, we both understand that is a controlled form of fantasy fulfillment. Mistress understands that you have a normal life outside the dungeon where your body could be under scrutiny. Many of my submissives are married or have girlfriends who do not know about their kink. Hence, discretion is very important for them and of course for me too. It is not in my benefit to leave permanent marks on your body to be found by your significant other and get you in trouble. That makes you less likely to returning to play with me, and that does not please me. So rest assured that Mistress always takes care to not leave marks on your body. Of course, if you are a fan of play that creates marks (as for instance caning), you will need to plan your sessions allowing for a few days for skin recovery in order to not get caught.
And a note about significant others:
If kink and fetish were more widely accepted, many of my clients would be able to approach the subject and play with their significant partners. However, BDSM is still relatively taboo, especially the idea of a submissive male. Many women would think less of their husband if they found out that they like to be cross dressed, bound, gagged and spanked, so sharing these fantasies with their love partner is scary. And even the women that might be accepting of their partner’s fetishes, it doesn’t mean they will be willing to be a part of them. Playing the dominant role requires many skills and effort, and it’s not for everyone. Research shows that dominants usually take up about 10-20% of the kink population, and probably less than half of those are female.
It is understandable that men whose fetishes may only occur only in a part time basis will chose to keep their secrets from their partners. I know so many men who love their wives, family and vanilla life, but who once in a while indulge in their fantasies with me. This is a healthy habit. Fetishes and fantasies don’t go away, they eat at your brain and curiosity often gets the best of us. Professional dommes do a great service for the institution of marriage by allowing men to express their vulnerable submissive side without jeopardizing love relationships that would not tolerate this expression from them.
Now, there are also women who accept their men being submissive, and for those couples, I recommend couples coaching sessions where I can teach both partners the skills to be able to play better in their personal life. I love teaching aspiring dommes the kink techniques and attitudes that will help them find their own domme style. Dominance and submission are both journeys of self discovery. I love being a guide for couples who want to explore that journey together, and especially to share some of the delightful benefits of having a submissive partner with my fellow ladies in charge. But that is yet another story, for another day…
Article originally published on iFet.com, July 2015.