Andrea dominates you for money
This is an English translation of an Article in Norwegian by Ingunn Saltbones 5th of April 2016 from the Norwegain Newspaper VG Plus http://pluss.vg.no/
If this man (37) pays to be whipped or in other ways dominated, and gets an orgasm from it, is he then buying sex?
Andreas is a professional domina with the name Mistress Kalyss Mercury, and challenges a gray-area in the trostitution law.
Andrea has been a professional domina for 18 years. She is very passionate about it and feels that she has an important job. And the job is to offer clients sessions specifically designed for them and their BDSM fetishes.
BDSM means Bondage, Domination/Dicipline, Sadism and Masochism, and in the BDSM world, a woman who dominates as her fetish, is called a Domina. As a professional domina, you get payed to dominate.
- I ask my clients what they like, and what kind of fetishes they want to explore. I give them a list with things they can choose from, because there are some fetishes I don’t personally like, so I don’t do them, Andrea explains.
In addition to that, they also get a list of “ingredients”.
-It’s not a given that they get exactly the ingredients they have wished for. It’s kind of like choosing a type of food, and within that type of food you can be served many different dishes, Andrea explains.
Because part of the point with the session is also that there is an element of surprise. And most important – the main point is that she decides.
-They submit to me for the time period we decide, and during that time, I will guide the session, control them and take them on a little journey that gives different experiences along the way, she says.
She has full control
The session can contain a role play , as student and teacher, or boss and secretary.
-The point is that I’m in control and the other person is submissive, Andrea explains.
In addition to the role play, pain is also inflicted, for example whipping or spanking, being strapped to the St. Andrews cross, or that you are humiliated in more psychological ways. But she can also use the senses in a milder way, like the use of a small glove with tine sharp spikes that gives the sensation of light scratching.
-I make a scenario where the other person loses his status, it’s about being relieved from all the responsibility in real life, and for a short while give them the sensation of being someone else, where a different person also has all the responsibility, she says.
Mistress Kalyss Mercury has a large collection of whips and other tools that are used to put together the experience.
-It’s a time-consuming job, and you need to be turned on by it yourself. If not, you’ll get burnt out very fast. It takes a special personality and patience. You have enjoy it and have fun with it, and all the equipment is also quite expensive, Andrea explains.
-The customers will notice it immediately if it’s not real, she says.
Most customers are men, but there are also female customers.
-I’ve also had quite a lot of couple who come to me to learn. They often want to try BDSM in their relationship, but don’t know where to start. I give them an introduction, show them how they can do it in a safe way, and teach them to use the game of power for common pleasure, Andrea explains.
Offers body contact
She also offers services that means body contact, if it’s legal in the country she’s in.
-Foot worship is legal everywhere. That’s a service for the foot fetishists who want to kiss my feet. But touching in other areas and penetration can be illegal some places, she says.
Anal penetration is something that many men want to try.
-But that would for example be illegal for me to do in New York, so then I don’t do it there. Whipping and touching naked skin is legal there, but not kissing or touching genitals or breasts, she says.
In Norway, it’s not illegal to sell sex, so therefore she doesn’t have to be worried about being punished for anything. But she calls for a debate about debate about this, because she wants her customers be sure that they don’t risk being prosecuted.
-To many men, this is the only way to live out this fetish. There is a huge deficit of female dominas in the BDSM-world, and many also want to keep things more discrete than to go to a BDSM club, says Andrea.
But the law is a bit unclear regarding what is considered a sexual act.
The law says:
“§ 316. Buying sexual services from adults
A fine or prison up to 6 months, or both, is given to those who
a) Pay for sexual services for themselves or others
b) Achieves sexual services payed by others
c) In the way described in a or b, makes someone perform sexual services to oneself
If the sexual conduct is considered degradingwithout being prosecuted according to other laws, the punishment is a fine or prison up to 1 year.”
In other words, the law incriminates those who pay for sex.
Sexual services means intercourse, naked genitals touching and masturbation, mutual or given by one.
Sexual services can also be fondling another persons genitals or breasts.
So if the clothes are on and no erogenous zones are touched, one could debate whether it is sex or not.
-For some, the session is mostly about giving up control, and not so much about sex. But for others, it’s a very erotic experience. So it’s possible to get an orgasm by being whipped, Andrea explains.
Where is the limit?
And where should the limit for sexual services be, she asks.
-Is it when you get an orgasm or is it if you get an erection? If a man gets aroused and gets an orgasm during a private dance in a strip club, even without the dancer touching him, is it then illegal? And what about women who get an energyorgasm from receiving an intense massage? Is it still sex, even if no genitals were touched? says Andrea.
She emphasizes that she condemns all human trafficking, and that it’s all about consent.
-This is also something that requires so much equipment that it’s not something that can be offered on the street. It’s a craft that you need to learn. You need to know how to whip, tie and read the client to make it a safe and good experience, says Andrea.
-For me it took at least four years before I had the skills I needed to do this professionally, she says.
Sexologist, psychologist and teacher at the university of Agder, Rikke Pristed, comes from Denmark.
-There it’s legal to pay for sex, and I think that when Norway has chosen to have a law against paying for sex, they need to decide if paying a Domina should be considered a sexual activity, or if it should be legal, Pristed says.
She also thinks it’s a grey area today.
-She’s correct when she says that it’s possible to give sexual pleasure without touching genitals or naked skin, says Pristed.
-That goes for other things too. If you have a foot fetish, you will get an erotic experience from giving a foot massage, Pristed says.
Live out your fantasies
As a sexologist, she emphasizes that it’s important to live out your fantasies.
-For most of us it means a lot if it’s your primary turn-on. It’s difficult to not be able to live it out. Many say that they have tried to suppress their BDSM fetishes, but they got irritable and even depressed. For some, a domina is the solution, if they don’t have a partner that gets turned on by the same things, or if they don’t have a partner, Pristed explains.
Pristed is especially thrilled about Mistress Kalyss Mercurys offer to train couples.
-Being able to go to her as a couple is fantastic. Many couples want to try BDSM, but don’t know how to get started. Being able to go to someone who is competentand that can show how to do things in a safe way, is a great thing, Pristed says.
VG has no knowledge about anyone being prosecuted for paying for domina services in Norway.
Police officer Erik T. Hansen says that:
"As far as I know, we have never had to deal with this so far."
There is a new debate about the sex law, coming.
The justice department states that “it’s not illegal to be brutal to someone who consents, but domina activities, which is common in Denmark, often containsa sexual component, and can be illegal.
The two government parties, Høyre and FrP, was against the sex law when it was implemented in 2009, but as a government they are responsible for the law as it is today. However, they are working on getting a new debate on this issue.
Carina (29) is a leader in SMil Norway, a non-commercial organization for sadomasochists and people with interest in BDSM and fetishism in Norway.
They don’t accept the sale of these services on their web pages.
We want to keep the sales part apart from where like-minded people can meet.
She also feels that it’s important that the sex law protects the weakest.
-But it’s important that the law doesn’t become a problem for those who offers this serviceof their own free will.
Carina think it would be wrong if Mistress Kalyss Mercury’s customers would be prosecuted for buying BDSM services.
-So when you don’t touch the genitals, and still get an orgasm, I don’t think it’s sex. One can get an erection from many different things.
-We have a minimum age of 18 to become a member and attend our meetings. Before that you’re not capable of consent, she says.
She does not want to criminalize those who offer these services.
-It’s very unfortunate, because as long as there are dominas like these, they tend to an important need, says Carina
Originally published on http://pluss.vg.no/